Sunday, July 23, 2006

So, what are you doing now?

Well, I've been on hiatus long enough now.
So what am I doing now?
Well I've been deep in thoughts and I'm disconcerted. I've been taking in the vastness of life, within boundaries of course. I'm having my turn on the roller coaster, that is of life. I feel like I'm about to end one chapter of my life, and begin on a new one. In other words, I'm at the peak of my quarter-life "crisis". Some nights, I feel numb and feel like I'm just existing day after day, without purpose and I'm not very motivated right now. The only reason I can face another day is because I've cried out to God and He finally answered one sunday morning. It's funny, I'd thought that life would be fine and dandy, but it's only gotten alot tougher. I feel burdened by many circumstances around me and it's tiring. But only by God's grace, I can face another day.

Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

In about a months time, I'll turn 21 and have several questions about myself answered. I'll have known how many goals I've achieved that I've hope to accomplish when I was just a wee lad. I'll have new goals that I'll want to achieve. I've taken a good look at myself, and I see where I'm standing. I'm almost 21, I'm still not in the army, I'm not financially independent, yet, I don't have a solid job for now, I haven't been travelling around the world, as I had hoped I would be at this time. And to top it all of, I'm still single. Haha, yea, I threw in that last bit just for good measure.
I do look forward to the future, but I miss being young, when my only worries were homework and exams. And it was great, cause I never did worry much about them.
I slept over at three different friends place the past three days, and I miss sleepovers. We'd just talk about life in general, play some music, eat and have ourselves some innocent fun. It was great and I miss it alot.

Anyways... here's a chocolate mousse cake I made just last week for someone's birthday.It's one recipe that I've picked up during the time I spent working at Raffles Hotel. It's a fairly simple recipe. This was also when I was introduced to a new ingredient. Feuilletines. It's made of crushed biscuit flakes. It adds an interesting crunch to simple recipes and I like using it alot. For this one, I mixed the feuilletines with nutella and chocolate, and used it as a base for the mousse. I wished I could have decorated the circumference of the cake with square chocolate pieces, add a trellis rod of chocolate on the top, and accompany the strawberries with delicate swirls. But of course, the heat makes it impossible for any chocolate work at home. I have considered setting a chocolate work station in my room with the air condition on, but that's just crazy. But it will work. Hmm. Maybe I will, if I do get ever get around to doing it.

I have also been toying with several ideas and I've been thinking alot about milkshakes and smoothies. I'd love to serve "gourmet" smoothies and shakes next time. I'm thinking, some milk, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, real chocolate - melted, some praline paste and caramelized hazelnuts, blended into a harmonious amalgamation. I've yet to try them out as I lack the funding. I realized that while it was great to sleep in and wake up by myself, I need to get a job to support myself. For now, I'm getting by with just enough, though it would be nice to have a nice intimate dinner with people everynow and then. That will give me a chance to use my Built NY BYO wine bag I bought a few weeks ago. Plus, I have a bottle of Inniskillin Riesling Icewine and a bottle of Classic Rutherglen Tokay that I've been waiting to open for the longest time now. There just isn't anyone to open it with.


Anita said...

Hey, I'd love to share that Inniskillin with you:) I can't imagine trying to do chocolate work in the Singapore heat. I hope things are well for you, I went through a quarter-life crisis too- in fact I still feel like it's going on! You have a ton of time to learn and grow and do things - eventually you will figure things out. Stay optimistic! and best wishes!

Nicholas said...

Hey Anita! Yea, and the heat's really picking up now.

The quarter life crisis, I guess it's one of those things that we all, if not many experience eh? I guess I do have a whole bunch of time, and I'll grow into things and learn. Maybe I'm just impatient. :D
Thanks for dropping by!.

Ps:I'd love to share that bottle with anyone that can enjoy it. I guess you qualify! ;)

keiko said...

Hi Nicholas - I just wish you could make a birthday cake for me... thank you for visiting my site :)